When it comes to dating, it sucks to be an Asian male in the U. After crunching the behavioral data gathered from 25 million users, OkCupid found that Asian guys have it the worst when it comes to online dating. For an Asian guy to actually marry a white woman, he has to jump through a ton of hoops. And that is of course after scoring points higher on the SAT just to get into elite college to make that kind of dough! So, yes, the situation is bleak, but there is a path for an Asian guy — or any normal guy — to find love.
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First off, before I met my wife, I was well on my way to becoming a confirmed bachelor. It was not for lack of trying though.
Asian Male Stereotypes Complicate My Love Life — The Bold Italic — San Francisco
I never had a problem meeting people and was quite social and was always hosting events. I also did the online dating thing as well. Unfortunately, nothing ever seemed to stick. She was smart, ambitious and attractive. We met while living abroad in Beijing, China, where yellow fever among expats runs rampant and subsequent suspicion from the local population stokes racial tensions. It took me months to call him my boyfriend.
When I walked with him hand in hand, I saw smug expressions from white dudes, dismissive sneers from Chinese men and judgmental looks from white and Chinese women alike. San Franciscans tend to be more informed when it comes to matters of race, yet even now I witness moments of appalling ignorance.
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Which explains, perhaps, why I constantly feel the need to clarify my views on the following questions: Do I date only white men? Am I attracted to Asian men?
Why are we so quick to believe that Asian men have small penises, I wonder? Does it occur to people that our racial dating preferences have been socially conditioned? What if they rejected me? Over time, I forced myself to look past the stigmas that defined Asian males and worked to counter them. It paid off slowly but surely.
For some, the anxiety over being an Asian male that I once harbored can seem like an overreaction. Even for those who share Ma's confidence, the sad truth is that the media continues to perpetuate the emasculated Asian male stereotype. To some, we are quiet or asexual. To others, we're less manly than our white, black and Hispanic counterparts. The consensus seems to be that Asian men have nothing going for them.
Whether this line of thought will change depends on the media's openness to promote more traditionally or differentially masculine Asian figures, and the willingness of Asian men to tackle existing media stereotypes of us head-on.
Asian Male Stereotypes Complicate My Love Life
As long as characters like Short Round continue to exist, Asian males will always have to confront issues regarding their masculinity. Are Asian Men Undateable?
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